Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
