Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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