Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Never underestimate the power of titties
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
