I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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