i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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