After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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