school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
