allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize