No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
