just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
