When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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