ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
