12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize