Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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