I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
