what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
