Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
