If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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