Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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