I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
