You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
