The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
