Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
