Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
