Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
