The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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