Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
