I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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