i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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