I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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