I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
