found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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