the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
