someone get that fucking seahorse.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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