just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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