how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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