Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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