The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He did a backflip because drugs
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