So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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