can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
