the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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