I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
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