sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
