ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
