you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
