I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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