i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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