My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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