rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
