My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
