I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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