I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
