how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just had sex on a roof
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize