okay pat passed out under dana's car
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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