In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize