There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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