OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
