Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
