no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Randomize
